Is Sarah Palin a COUGAR?
Maybe not, despite the fact that this blog is, presently, the number one search result for that term. To all of you who ponder this question: Take Heart! You clearly want to see a COUGAR in the White House as much as us, and we plan on continuing to exploit your nefarious searches until we get our wish!
Why isn’t Sarah Palin a COUGAR?
She’s Caucasian, certainly!
Old, no! At 44, she’s young and, as a complete outsider to Washington politics, perhaps a bit innocent?
Ugly? Why of course not! She is like Tina Fey, if Tina Fey were a soccer mom with an updo! She is actually only like Tina Fey inasmuch as she is white, has glasses, and is a woman. Good enough for us!
Grumpy? Not as far as we can tell. She is from Alaska, though, so she’s probably too crazy to actually count as Grumpy.
Ain’t Republican? Double Negative! She’s, as far as anyone can guess, a fiscal conservative, a social conservative, and a small-town blue collar conservative. Apparently there are lots of conservatives in Alaska, actually. We don’t really remember what happened on Northern Exposure so we can neither confirm nor deny this.
Why yes, some fries would be lovely to go along with this shake! Thank you!
There you have it: Sarah Palin fits only the C of COUGAR.
Hillary Clinton? Now THERE’S a COUGAR. If only she were a dude.
Unbelievable pick. If I were a Republican I would be pissed.
Sarah Palin: The Real Dope (pun intended)